Monday, 29 December 2008

Bye-bye business buzzwords

I was chatting to the chief exec of a Notts textile company the other day about the strange turn of events that has seen an economy that was steaming along nicely not so long ago turn into a basket case.
A wise old bird, he said there was nothing strange about it at all, and that many of the supposed truisms about business and the economy that everyone seems to have swallowed were never truisms at all.
This got me thinking about all the business buzzwords and phrases which now look likely to suffer a merciful death:
The Property Industry: 'Property prices will keep on rising'. Until they fall off the face of a cliff.
The Stock Market: 'You need to pay the market rate for corporate talent'. Especially the handsome pay-off it gets when your share price collapses.
The Banks: 'We believe in relationship banking'. Except the last bit of 'for richer, for poorer'.
Business Regulation: 'Red tape is strangling business'. Except financial 'red tape' which was so weak it allowed the financial services industry to strangle us.
Management: 'People are our greatest asset'. 'Greatest' as in 'biggest' - so they'll get the chop first.
The Economy: 'No more boom and bust'. Just a pile of wreckage...